seleniahymn | ♪ eighteenth hymn. [action/written]

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♪ eighteenth hymn. [action/written]

[The first thing she noticed was the cold. Somewhere, there’s the vague wonder of why it would be so when what she last remembered was warmth and desperation, or at the very least that was what her mind had focused on. It had ignored the cold of her limbs and the sickening wetness of a fatal wound in favor of a particular warmth.

There is wetness now, but it is not warm nor does it focus on one particular spot. It is all over her body, and the more rational part of her mind is demanding she open her eyes and get out of it already.

And so she does, slowly as images of those last moments return to her memory while also noticing the familiar forest around her. The rain on her face helps to further clear her mind, and it is with widening eyes that she recognizes exactly what had happened. Tear may have resigned herself then, but now that she was breathing once more it makes her freeze.

Until she remembers one person in particular.

Quickly she feels around for her journal, opening it with only faintly trembling fingers and extracting the pen attached to it. Her voice wasn’t to be trusted yet.]

[ private to Freyjadour Falenas — broken. ]

Please, I need t

[The last character is cut sharply, ink beginning to pool at the point where her hand had jerked and pressed the pen so deeply that it nearly tore. Her breath is just as silent and unmoving, yet her heart pounded in her ears so loudly it nearly hurt to hear.

When she finally releases that breath, it does nothing to relieve the pain growing steadily in her chest. Bending over her journal does nothing either as her lips press tightly together, only protecting the smudging ink from the rain. Now wasn’t the time to grieve, even if she needed a few moments before she tried to write again.]

[ private to House One ]

I’m back.

[What else could she say?]

[After she has returned home, with the comfort of Colonel and knowing at least everyone else of the household was still there, she writes to the village at large.]

To those who have taken note of my absence, I apologize. [For so many things.] I also must inform anyone who has been receiving instruction from me that until further notice, I will be unavailable for teaching. Thank you for your patience and understanding.

In the meantime, if there is anyone who would be willing to teach me in closer combat and weaponry, I would be most grateful.

[The months until she would have her voice back would be long, and it was better to start accommodating now. Yet...]

And if anyone could tell me when exactly Freyjadour Falenas left Luceti, I want to know.

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[Jade had taken quiet note of Freyjadour's absence. He might not have particularly cared for the boy, nor did he have any attachment towards his relationship with Tear, but he could understand how cruel the timing was. Tear would never see him again. And when the days went by without hearing from Tear, Jade had grown concerned. He had even made private filters several times a day just to ensure that she was still bound to Luceti.

And now, it's unmistakeable. Even beyond her icon, he recognizes her handwriting. He can't quite pinpoint whatever emotion he seems to be feeling, and he takes just a moment to wonder what her death penalty could be. Is her writing a clue? He looks over her simple message and scrawls down a response.]

It's good to hear from you. [It seems like a fair enough greeting.]

Where exactly are you?

The forest. [Her response comes only a little too quickly, and she doesn't recognize how terribly vague it is until a split-second later. With a would-be sigh she continues writing, trying to keep her hand steady and perhaps making the lines too stiff while doing so.]

It might be the northern portion, I can't say for sure.

Don't worry yourself. Someone will find you soon enough. Can you relay a video feed of your surroundings? [Jade might have better luck at figuring out the surroundings. And he prefers having something analytical to focus on.]

I can do that. [The journal's function is quietly switched to a video one, though Tear is quick to remove herself from the camera's view and focuses it on displaying the forest surrounding her. It resembles the area a little north of the cherry blossom tree, the glow of the village visible in the southern sky.

And while Jade can't see it, Tear's posture begins to stiffen.]

[He watches carefully and puts together the various clues in the environment.]

Thank you, Tear. Your location has been ascertained, and someone will be there for you shortly. [He might be somewhat reluctant to do it himself. He was there when she died, after all, so he does not want to risk some sort of trauma-induced reaction.]

[There is no answer right away, other than the stiff nod she doesn't remember he can't see until afterward. Running her hand through her hair, she resumes writing in the journal.

While she has better control of herself now than she did minutes ago, she wasn't ready to use her voice yet.] Ion mentioned Colonel running out. Should I be on the lookout for him first?

I suppose so. He doesn't seem particularly intelligent, but in this instance I would consider him to be rather reliable.

I will be waiting here, at the house. Do you feel particularly thirsty or hungry at the moment?

[They say people were gone for a week when they died, but really, that amount of time seemed to vary give or take a day. Sometimes it would be 8 days, or even 9. But Ion's never heard of someone talking nearly two weeks to return. Whenever he found the strength to make it up the stairs, he'd pass by Tear's room, just to make sure it hadn't been cleared out. Even Colonel seemed to notice something was out of the ordinary with Tear's absence, growing even more restless as the days dragged by.]

[Today seems to be even worse than usual. Seemingly without warning, Colonel launches himself off of Ion's bed and runs off to the front door, barking and whining all the way. It takes a minute or two for Ion to pull himself to his feet to follow, just to check if maybe, finally, Tear had come back. Except when he opens the door, there's no one there. But as soon as the door is open, Colonel speeds off into the distance, barking all the way. Could it be...?]

[He knows he doesn't have the strength to try ad keep up with Colonel, his body still weak even after all this time, but he does rush to grab his journal -- and is instantly hit with relief when he recognizes that handwriting.]

Tear! [It vaguely occurs to him that it's strange for her to be writing, but his mind isn't focused on that just yet.] Where are you? Do you need someone to come find you?

[Because apparently both Colonels are on the job right now, if that message above his own is any indication.]

[Hearing Ion's voice was a welcome relief, or as much as it could be with the emotions creeping forth to overtake her as she waited for the various responses. Ion might not see it, but she brushes at her eye and tries to push her hair back before writing again.

She had just been so worried about him, and if she could smile then she would have as the characters come out a little more shaky than she'd like.] If I have to I can find my way back. Help won't be turned away.

I don't think you'll have to worry about that. I'm sure Colonel is on his way to find you right now... and Jade as well, it seems.

[Seeing her wiping at her eyes is going to make him get all misty eyed here in a minute. He's still worried with her being out there in the forest alone, but knowing she was here and she was alive was just such a relief...]

It's so good to see you again. You're not... hurt, are you? [It was always strange, figuring out how to address someone who just came back from the dead. You'd think Ion would have a better idea of what to say, but really it never gets any easier.]

I'll be sure to keep an eye out for them in that case. I'm glad to hear from you, Ion. [Jade she had expected to come, but hearing that Colonel was on his way was a strange relief. If there was a comfort she could use right now, it was definitely his.

There's a moment when she pauses to assess her overall person, having not done so properly in her haste to try to contact someone. Nothing felt out of place...] And I don't think there are any injuries.

[But that doesn't mean she's all right. There was always a price here, wasn't there?]

That's good, I'm glad to here it.

[There's something he wants to ask, but he's not sure if asking now, while she's still alone in the forest, was the best idea. He could at least wait until Colonel found her, or perhaps even until she made it back to House One.]

[After all, there had to be a reason she chose to write instead of just using the voice function.]

Is there anything you would like ready for you when you return? If you're hungry, I could ask the others to prepare something. Or perhaps get some tea ready to warm you up?

While that would be appreciated, please don't go to all the trouble for my sake. [Her memory of what happened in Zompania may still be hazy, but she doesn't need to remember every sharp detail to know Ion may not be in the best state.]

Anything to drink will work. [And just knowing he was there, because it helped to keep her mind off the realization that Frey wouldn't be among anyone answering.]

It's never any trouble, Tear. [He could certainly find the strength to get some tea going, and at least greet her at the door when she arrived. It really was the least he could do for her. It pains him to know there's not much else.]

You're one of my very dear friends. If there's ever anything I can do for you, please don't hesitate to ask.

[Even though he feels like it shouldn't have to be said, he knows Tear, and he knows that she didn't like depending on others -- perhaps that was a trait everyone in their little group shared in some degree.]

[She hears through Ion first that Tear has returned; as much as she wants to join Jade and anyone else who follows him in gallivanting off to bring her back, someone has to be in the house to let them back in, and there's no sense in crowding Tear any more than necessary.

That's not going to stop Nephry, once their melodist is safely back in the house and there's a lull in the fussing-over, from approaching her - hesitant at first, confident a few steps later - and pulling her into a welcoming hug.]

[Having someone waiting when she comes back to the house was comforting in itself. It drove just how much it seemed like a home, even as Tear found herself becoming almost overwhelmed by the emotion of her return. So when the lull comes, it's a welcome reprieve. Then she found herself enveloped in familiar arms.

At first her movements are slow and could almost be called timid, but Tear allows them to happen anyway. Those shy arms wrap tentatively around Nephry, and she almost rests her forehead on her shoulder before closing her eyes and biting her lip to keep herself from mouthing her name.]

[Nephry doesn't say anything for a while. In truth, she's waiting for Tear to speak, and growing worried when she doesn't. She rests one hand against the back of Tear's head, to let her know it's all right to put her head down if she wants to, memories of a childhood she did not really share in coming back to her as they had with Ion.]

What can we do for you, Tear? [What, besides this?]

[It's another few moments before Tear begins to pull away, though not completely. She turns her head away to release an inaudible sigh, her hair hiding away the confused expression she didn't want Nephry to see.

There had to be a way to answer that, if she could just find one quickly enough.]

Edited (copypaste fail) 2014-07-25 09:17 (UTC)

[Tear's struggle to express her wishes is palpable. A glance to the side, a too-long stretch of quiet...]

Are you thirsty? Do you feel like you should eat?

[Nephry takes a big guessing risk with yes-or-no questions, but no matter what the problem is, she can nod or shake her head.]

[ Frey...? ]

You must have just missed him, because this is the first I heard of it.

Is that right? [She didn't know how much more worse hearing this made it.]

Thank you for telling me, though I wasn't aware I would also be delivering the news to some who knew him.

Edited (suddenly copypaste isn't working) 2014-07-25 09:17 (UTC)

I'm sorry that you got surprised like that.

We were both aware it was a possibility, and may have been just a matter of time. [Small things she kept telling herself.]

[ ... Yeah. How does he respond to that? Some gut instinct wants him to cheer up a depressed girl, as she no doubt will be. But he also knows that's probably not his pace. He considers the pen a moment before writing in ]

Frey has always been a responsible guy like that, I should have known he would think of it.

He's been my friend a long time.

To be honest, we never discussed it in detail. [It was more an assumption on both their parts, and one she considers cowardly on her side.]

I would assume you did know him longer, with your input after Valentine's two years ago.

It's an upsetting topic so I don't blame either of you for that.

Well, you know him better I'm sure though.

But one we all face regardless. [Whether it was friends going home, or a significant other.]

I won't claim to have known everything about him, even if the nature of our relationship would imply it. There might still be things about him you knew, and that I won't.

Well I hope I don't have all the knowledge you do!!

[ and he draws a little approximation of a blushing face here ]

[... Sad as she may be, she still pauses a moment to essentially flail at the implication.]

That would depend on the type of knowledge you're thinking about.

Why, what sort of shampoo he uses of course!!

[..................]

Herbal, the smell was primarily rosemary. Before you ask, he did sometimes let me brush it.

Did you enjoy it?

[ Circling the "let me brush it" ]

If I weren't willing to do it, then why would I?

[Yes, she is purposely avoiding answering.]

So you did.

[ And he underlines "enjoy it" three times ]

... I'm sorry.

[What more can he say, really? He knows quite well the pain of having someone you love sent home, even if that someone no longer loved you in return; he also knows that all the words in the world won't be enough to ease that pain.

Right now, he can't even offer to help train her with his vision being what it is, so the best he can do is let her know that he's there to listen if she needs it.]

[Like she has done so many times today, Tear hesitates when responding to Richard's message. After hearing it several times, she didn't know how to answer in a way that didn't seem impersonal. Nevertheless, she could at least try, for his sake.

Her penmanship is not as neat as it could be, having written so much already, but she didn't think it would be so obvious.] Thank you, I really do appreciate your kindness, Richard.

Edited (I PASTED THE WRONG TAG) 2014-07-25 09:16 (UTC)

[Perhaps it's a small blessing that Richard is unable to see well enough to notice the penmanship-- he's relying on Isamu to read the comments to him, not that he's going to admit to that. Better not to give her one more thing to worry about on top of everything else.]

My ears are always open if you ever wish to speak to someone. I've found that sometimes just having someone who will listen helps more than you think it will.

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